The ‘M*A*S*H’ actor and ‘One Day at a Time’ actress connected during a dinner for work
M*A*S*H star Mike Farrell remembered meeting his wife Shelley Fabares just four months before her death.
Farrell, 87, looked back at his romance with Fabares, who died Aug. 22 at the age of 82, on an April episode of the Still Here Hollywood podcast with Steve Kmetko. Before they met, Farrell had found success for his role as Captain B.J. Hunnicutt on M*A*S*H, and Fabares was known not only for her work as a teen star on The Donna Reed Show but also for her role on One Day at a Time.
Farrell remembered on Kmetko’s podcast that the actors would often “bump into each other” at events. “I’d say hello and she’d say hello, and that was it, pretty much,” he said.
Farrell, who has been an activist for many political causes throughout his life, remembered that in 1980, he visited El Salvador and spoke to people in refugee camps. When he returned to the U.S., he went “straight to San Francisco” for a CBS dinner. M*A*S*H and One Day at a Time both aired on the network.
Farrell felt “blitzed” because of his experience going from El Salvador to a swanky Hollywood dinner. He soon saw Fabares, noting that because of their last names, they were often introduced one after the other. “I walked over to her and I said, ‘Excuse me. I just would like you to know that every time I see you, I feel really good and I feel a little calmer than I had been prior to that.’ And she said, ‘Mike, that’s very sweet, very nice of you.’ ”
After dinner, they were chatting again when a cable car stopped outside. “I said, ‘Would you like to take a cable car ride?’ ” Fabares demurred, saying she was involved with someone. “She turned away, and then she turned back and she said, ‘Sure, why not?’ ” Farrell remembered with a laugh.
They went down to Fisherman’s Wharf. “We walked along the coast and I just spilled my guts about this experience I just had in Central America,” he said. “And she was very patient and very sweet and very supportive.”
The next morning, they were assigned the same car to the airport to go back to Los Angeles. Farrell invited Fabares and her boyfriend to come see him give a talk about his experience in El Salvador. Fabares said she couldn’t but said to let him know the next time he was giving a talk.
“So it was probably a month, two months or maybe even three months later, I was asked to do another presentation about El Salvador,” he said. He called Fabares to invite her and her boyfriend.
“And I got a call back and she left a message for me saying, ‘Is it okay if I bring my sister?’ ” he said.
After the talk, Farrell and Fabares were getting a cup of coffee. The last time they met, Fabares had been telling him about a problem she was having with the writers on One Day at a Time.
“I said, did you ever get that problem resolved?” Farrell said. “I was going to say about with her writers, and she said, ‘Oh, we’re not seeing each other anymore.’ ” He laughed at the memory.
“And I said, ‘Oh. Well, that’s nice,’ ” he said.
The couple ultimately married on Dec. 31, 1984, in the backyard of Fabares’ aunt, actress Nanette Fabray. Fabares became stepmother to Farrell’s two children, Michael and Erin, from a previous marriage.
“There is a light inside her that is just magical,” Farrell told PEOPLE in 1991. “I find her a constant source of rejuvenation.”
Fabares said, “Mike grounds me, and I think I pull him out sometimes. It’s a nice mix.” She also became stepmother to his children, Michael and Erin, from his previous marriage.
Fabares’ family confirmed her death in a statement on Aug. 23.
They said in part, “To her family and friends, Shelley was a source of love, strength, laughter, and comfort. “She was a devoted wife, cherished stepmother, daughter, sister, niece, aunt, family member, and loyal friend whose warmth, generosity, humor, and grace made an enduring difference in the lives of everyone who knew her. She had a remarkable ability to make people feel welcomed, valued, and cared for.”
While they noted her career in the arts, naming the “talent, intelligence, and warmth” she brought to “every performance,” they added, “To those closest to her, her greatest legacy was personal: the love she gave so freely, the friendships she treasured, and the family bonds she held dear.”
